“How are you doing?” is probably one of the most common greetings you hear, and the one I never really understood. Do you really expect me to say anything other than not bad, good, or great and start sharing all the problems in my life? That’s one reason I try not to ask this question as a conversation starter, and the one time I did, it turned into a disaster…
My mouth has gotten into the habit of responding with, “good, how are you?” whenever someone asks me how I am doing because I’m rarely the person asking – I always get asked. So naturally, when someone asked me how I was doing the other day, I responded with “Good! How are you?” The problem is…this time, I had initiated the conversation because I had noticed this person walking by without acknowledging my presence!
[Person walks by my desk and glances at me. I sensed their presence and looked over. Our eyes lock, but no word is spoken.]
Me: Hi! How are you doing?
Person: Good! How are you?
Me: Good! How are you?
[Person looks at me. I look at person. My face turns red. A few delayed seconds later…]
Person: Good!
What a disaster. How embarrassing it was that I asked the same question twice, as if I didn’t listen to their response. The moment the words slipped out of my mouth, I knew I had said something wrong. I bet the person was as confused as I was and wondering if they had remembered wrong that I had asked already. The delayed response was the longest few seconds of my life and it was like being left on ‘seen’…in real life.
How are you doing? Terrible. Absolutely terrible.