In a society where speaking is an expectation rather than a choice, those who are quiet are often viewed as outcasts. They are looked down upon and described as unfriendly and unsociable, or even weird. It’s surprising that people are sometimes shocked when someone quiet shares their thoughts, almost as if they didn’t know that those who are quiet are capable of speaking (and they make such a big deal out of it).
Yes, introverts have a voice. We know how to speak. We, just like everyone else, have that silent voice in our heads as we think and process the conversations around us. What makes us different is when we decide to share this silent voice.
We don’t like to dominate a conversation in a group setting. We listen, think, and then decide whether the silent voice needs to be heard. It’s not because we don’t like to share our thoughts – we most certainly do – but because what is more important to us is who we share our thoughts with.
Introverts value their personal relationships and really take the time to build trust in a loyal relationship. The amount we share is a reflection of the amount of trust we have in the other person. We consider the level of risk and the consequences of sharing if the person on the receiving end is not open to or accepting of our honest thoughts and opinions. People often think they are doing us a favor when they call on us to give us a chance to share our thoughts, but in reality, if we really wanted to say something, we make sure our voice is heard.
Without a certain level of trust, there is only so much that can be shared, but once there is a solid foundation of trust and loyalty in the authentic relationship, you may begin to wonder, how can I keep you from talking?